Friday Favorites: What We Loved This Christmas

December 29, 2017January 28, 2018 / Still Chasing Fireflies / 7 Comments

You did it! You survived the holiday madness once again! I truly hope that your Christmas was everything that you wanted or needed it to be. If this year was wonderful for you, I am so happy for you. I celebrate your happiness with you! If this year was one for the history books, please trust that next Christmas may look completely different, that it may be much better even if your life has changed, even if you can’t begin to imagine what “better” might look like yet. Keep on keeping on, and soon you will be an encouragement to someone else who is right where you are now, and what an incredible gift you will be!

Speaking of gifts, every year I tell my kids that Santa will be cutting back at our house, and every year Santa fails to follow through with this plan. This year was no exception. When I pointed out to my children that baby Jesus himself received only three gifts, my quick-witted oldest son responded, “Yes, Mom, but one of those was GOLD!!!” (Seriously, though, my kids aren’t the problem. The problem is ME!)

I think we can all agree that Christmas has become far too entangled in American commercialism and materialism, but, even so, it’s fair to say that the gifts that we give one another, at Christmas or at any time, do matter. Yes, we spend too much money and, yes, we spoil our kids with too many presents, but the perfect gift, even if it is very inexpensive, is a powerful way to say I know you and I love you. And these words are coming from someone whose LEAST appreciated love language is gift giving.

When you give a particularly meaningful gift, it’s not about the gift at all. It’s about the thought, the time, the generosity of spirit.

There is no way that I could highlight every gift my kids and I got or bought this Christmas, but please know that we thought carefully about each gift that we purchased and truly enjoyed each present we received! My hope is that by sharing some new ideas with you, maybe this will give you some gifting inspiration for the coming year. Or for Christmas next year.

Seriously. It’s only 361 days away!

Yes, one of my favorite gifts in 2017 was a thermometer . . . Oh, wow. I’m feeling super old in this moment . . . I actually received this gift at a favorite things gift exchange hosted by my friend Jennifer, and then I loved it so much that I bought one for my brother and his wife, so I both got it and bought it! To sum it up, you load the Kinsa app onto your smart phone and then the thermometer pictured above plugs right into your phone. Here’s what I love: Each person in the family can have a profile on Kinsa where you can record their temperature readings as well as their symptoms. This way, when the doctor asks questions like, “How long has your child been having these symptoms?” you don’t have to bumble around, looking confused and wondering if you just failed parenting because you can’t remember. You can buy this on Amazon for around $14.

This might be my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE gift that I bought this year! What do you buy for a three-year-old who doesn’t need any toys because he already has all of the ones you bought his older brother for Christmas for the past nine years? You make him a customized memory game on Shutterfly! You choose which pictures to load, and you can create a theme if you want. In our case, I used photos from our family vacation to Florida last summer. We had fun playing the game AND enjoying the memories at the same time. Note: The cards are bigger than the other memory games you may have at home. I also ordered two sets to expand the game. Shutterfly offers LOTS of discounts and promos, so watch for those before ordering.

If your name is Renee and you are my sister-in-law, you need to stop reading right now because your kids have not received this gift yet! This is another fun, unique gift that I am so excited to share with my niece and my nephew. You can find these mermaid tail blankets by visiting Blankie Tails, and they come in a variety of sizes and colors. (Photo from the Blankie Tails website) They also have different styles, such as a shark and a rocket ship, to appeal to different kids. I ordered directly from Blankie Tails because they carry toddler sizes. (Seriously, a toddler mermaid. It’s too much.) However, you can also find some of their styles on Amazon, and I REALLY love that you can buy them and add the child’s name (if you don’t need toddler sizes – BOO!) at the Personal Creations website.

Alex and Ani bracelets are trendy and fun, but there are three reasons why I like them more than any other bracelets I own. First, they are extremely light weight and thin, which means that I can forget that I am wearing them, even when I am working. Second, they are adjustable, which is very helpful for those of us who have tiny wrists and those of us who don’t. Finally, each bracelet has a special meaning, so you can gift a loved one in a meaningful way. My parents gave me this bracelet to add to a few others I already have, and it is lovely! You can buy these at some jewelry stores, department stores, and boutiques or at Alex and Ani online. Here is a pro shopper tip: If you live near a Nordstrom Rack, they often carry some of these bracelets at nearly half the usual cost, making them a much more affordable gift!

My parents don’t really need or want any more things around the house. There isn’t room for a lot of extras in their small home, and they have everything arranged just the way they like it. This year, my brother and I bought them these kits to trace their ancestry. The results will be fascinating for our entire family! We bought these on Amazon when they were on sale, so look for discounts. This is a great idea for people who don’t really want any more things, and I expect the results to spark many interesting conversations!

My boys became somewhat obsessed with the game of croquet last summer, so much so that my brother and sister-in-law bought them this desktop croquet set, kind of as a joke. It turns out that this little set with each ball about the size of a dime provided hours of holiday fun. Who would have thought? You will need a tablecloth to create some friction, but this game is a win! You can buy it at World Market.

You know how some people are naturally really good at finding JUST the right gifts? Yeah. Those people are my brother and my sister-in-law. They bought me this print from RunawayPrints on Etsy and then framed it from IKEA. This gift is so personal and so encouraging! It doesn’t get better than that! I love it.

And . . . they also got me this super soft t-shirt from one of my favorite Etsy shops, Birch Bear Co., which you may remember me blogging about here. I bought my sister-in-law a Christmas gift from this shop, as well. There are so many cute options, and the business owner is incredibly kind. I highly recommend Birch Bear!

This year, the boys and I spent a little more time visiting with extended family, which was so nice. We had more time to sit and talk, and we were able to make a couple of extra stops. When I visited my aunt and uncle, not only was the company enjoyable, but they also let me raid the pantry! Oh, my goodness, you guys . . . that is homemade apple pie filling. HOMEMADE APPLE PIE FILLING!!! And it was lovingly prepared by two people who are very special to me. Best. Gifts. Ever. Give the gift of your own skills and talents!

All of these are risk-free, no-fail gifts! We love ornaments at our house because each one represents a special interest, event, or person, so an ornament that has some personal significance is the perfect gift any time of the year. Don’t forget to look for them when you are on vacation, or consider making them yourself, as my friends Kelli and Jamison did for me! Retro gifts are becoming more and more appealing to me and friends in my age group (you know, around 29), maybe because they transport us to a time when our greatest worries were how far the telephone cord would stretch and when a favorite song would play on the radio so that we could add it to a mix tape. Anything that looks like the 80s, if you lived in the 80s, is fun. Board games are favorites at our house because, really, they are the gift of time with one another; my awesome kiddos bought me Trivial Pursuit this year . . . maybe just a little harder than they thought! And, of course, CHOCOLATE never fails to please, especially if you know your mom L-O-V-E-S dark chocolate with raspberry filling but thinks it costs too much . . . YUM.

This last one is a gift that I bought for a dog-loving friend, and I also bought one for myself. (Yes, that happens . . . ) My mother-in-law had given me a similar dish towel several years ago, and the statement makes me happy. This is a very inexpensive gift that I found at Home Goods, which is a great place to find steals and deals that can still be meaningful gifts, any time of the year!

I hope that this post gives you some great gifting ideas for the coming year! Thank you to everyone who so generously gave to my family this Christmas; we appreciated everything, especially all of the love! Goodbye 2017!

~Mary Ann

Christmas Song Parodies: The Mom Versions

December 17, 2017 / Still Chasing Fireflies / Leave a comment

jingle

Oh, the holidays, that special time of year when we all cozy up by the fire in our matching pajamas, with our steaming mugs of homemade hot chocolate and the sugar cookies we ornately iced with that smooth royal icing. And the cookies are decorated with those tiny silver ball things that are always on the sugar cookies in magazines and must be edible. I guess.

Yeah, right.

While our kids often associate Christmas with the joy of twinkling lights and brightly wrapped packages, for parents the most wonderful time of the year can be a little bit stressful and a whole lot exhausting. Even though the Christmas season is my favorite time of the year with my family, I will admit that all of the tasks and expectations can become a bit overwhelming. Yes, I treasure every tradition of the season, including listening to the carols that I play on a continuous loop starting the day after Thanksgiving, but I do wonder what the lyrics might sound like if they reflected how we moms REALLY feel – at least some of the time – during the craziness of the holiday rush. I kind of like these versions, just for fun . . . What do you think?

To the tune of “Jingle Bells”

Jingle bells, jingle bells
Sarah just threw up
We can’t fly to grandma’s house
Those tickets cost so much . . . Hey!

Jingle bells, jingle bells
This is just my luck
Who will be the next to puke?
This laundry – (*gagging*) – YUCK!

To the tune of “Deck the Halls”

Deck the halls with boughs of holly
Falalalala-lala-la-la
Why is all this my job anyway?
Falalalala-lala-la-la
You thought I’d do this by myself?
Falala-lalala-la-la-la
Good luck. I quit. Go find an elf.
Falalalala-lala-la-la

To the tune of “All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth”

All I want for Christmas is to get some sleep
Some time for me
Yes, an hour that’s free
Please, if I could only get a good night’s sleep
Then I could wish you, “Merry Christmas”

To the tune of “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas”

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Everywhere you go
Take a look in the five-and-ten; lines that will never end
With moms whose patience ran out long ago
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Crowds in every store
So the prettiest sights to see are deliveries that will be
At your own front door

To the tune of “Let It Snow”

Oh, the lists just keep on growing,
And I’m shopping without knowing
What to buy so tears don’t flow
Let it go, let it go, let it go.

There are cards I won’t be sending
And I know I’m overspending
I’ve hit my holiday all-time low
Let it go, let it go, let it go.

When I buy cookies off the shelf
Oh, it feels like a holiday fail
I keep forgetting to move the elf
And don’t ask me to step on a scale

Oh, the gifts, they still need wrapping
And my kids are home and scrapping
But Christmas means more, I know
Let it go, let it go, let it go.

To the tune of “Up on the Housetop”

Up on the housetop, the bulbs won’t glow
Why they won’t we just don’t know
Hours and hours of hanging lights
All for a house that’s dark at night

Dad, he had just one desire
Light the night up like a fire
No more Christmas in the dark
Dreaming he would outshine Clark

Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn’t go?
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn’t go?
Up on the ladder, slick as ice
To impress the neighbors at any price

To the tune of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
Even if you put together toys all night

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Make the Yuletide gay
Pretend you don’t mind what your crazy relatives say

Here we are as in olden days
Happy golden days of yore
Uncle Joe’s fourth wife isn’t dear to us
But she gathers near to us once more

Through the years we all will be together
If no one gets mad
Even then, we’ll come to please our mom and dad
So have yourself a merry little Christmas . . .
Have yourself a merry little Christmas . . .
Really – have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

Happy holidays, friends! Don’t forget the reason for this very special season, and thanks, as always, for supporting my blog!

~Mary Ann

A Letter to My Sons About Matt Lauer

December 1, 2017December 1, 2017 / Still Chasing Fireflies / 4 Comments

A Letter to My Sons About Matt Lauer

Dear Boys,

This morning started just like any other morning. The three of us rushed around the house, grabbing breakfast and packing lunches and filling backpacks for school. We were listening to the news, prepared to hear the latest White House tweet, when Savannah Guthrie’s quivering voice shared something unexpected – that her friend and co-host on the Today Show, Matt Lauer, had been fired. You asked me why I stopped what I was doing. You noticed that my voice was shaky, too.

Now that you are both a little older, I choose not to shield you from the news. Sometimes the news reports are ugly and painful. Sometimes they introduce you to issues I would rather you didn’t know. But the news is also the truth of the world that you live in. I want you to see it and feel it and wrestle with it while you are still living here. I want you to face reality even when reality is hard. I want you to ask me all kinds of questions because it’s my job to get you ready to face the challenges of life.

So you are both aware that powerful men have been falling like dominos recently, one after another. We have watched their belief that power and money could make them invincible crumble. And our illusion that we can tell whom we should trust has collapsed, as well.

I thought I could trust Matt Lauer, guys. I really did.

Before you left for school today, we had a conversation about how, even though each new story makes me feel disgusted and sad, we are witnessing a pivotal moment in American culture, a moment in which powerful people – businessmen, politicians, and celebrities – are finally being held accountable for clearly unacceptable behavior. I told you that this means, maybe, hopefully, that you won’t have to worry about your wife being hit on at work someday or your daughters being expected to excuse demeaning treatment to progress in their careers or even keep their jobs. I told you that this change could signal the beginning of a more equal balance of power in high-level positions and that all people will have to start thinking more before they make decisions – because there may actually be accountability for behaviors that were conveniently overlooked before. Ultimately, this is a good and historical moment.

And then I sent you off to school.

But after you headed to the bus stop, I reflected on our conversation and felt uneasy. It wasn’t because I said anything that I don’t believe to be true, and it wasn’t because I don’t see this as a truly significant moment for women. I felt uneasy because I had suggested to you that this watershed is a victory for women alone, that you, my sons, will benefit only indirectly through the women you love.

But that isn’t true.

Sure, this moment matters because there will always be women who play significant roles in your lives – women like me and your grandmothers, your aunts and your cousins, possibly someday your wives and daughters and nieces. All of these women, every single one of them, deserve to be treated with dignity and respect inside their workplaces and everywhere else. I want you to care about women. I want you to be empathetic, compassionate men. I want you to notice and positively impact how other people are treated.

But as a mom of boys, I know that changing our culture in positive ways will directly impact your futures, too. The society that we have created for you, the unclear expectations that we have set for young men – this stuff scares a mom, guys. Because it is probably safe to assume that some of the men who have crashed in the headlines for tormenting subordinates with inappropriate advances or making lewd comments to or about female co-workers were raised by loving mothers who taught them to be respectful gentlemen, too.

So what the heck happened?

I don’t know how to answer that question.

What I do know, my boys, is that you will receive many confusing messages from the snake oil salesman that is our culture. He will tempt you with simple remedies for your insecurities and peddle empty vials labeled “happiness” and “satisfaction” that will never provide the relief that you seek. He will talk out of both sides of his mouth, confusing you with mixed up ideas about what it means to be a man. He will tell you to be a gentleman always but then feed you a steady stream of music and graphic images that depict women as disposable objects rather than smart, respectable humans. He will tell you that nothing is more admirable than being a devoted father and husband but then reward you for showing off your machismo, for drinking too much, for laughing at inappropriate jokes, for choosing work over home. He will tell you that honesty is a virtue but then persuade you that what other people don’t know won’t hurt you. He will warn you that you could be fired for behaving unethically but then convince you that behaving unethically is just what you need to do to move higher and at a faster pace. He will feed your ego with power, convincing you that you are above the rules, and then laugh when that power is ultimately stripped away.

In recent weeks we have seen that the Boys’ Club still exists, that it clearly remains part of the business world in America. It is exclusive. It comes with perks and promotions, a sense of importance and often generous financial rewards for the guys who get in. The men in The Club seem confident and invincible. Really, it must be a whole lot of fun.

Until it isn’t.

So our culture needs to change for the girls in your class at school, certainly, but also for you. It is easy for you to say at 11 and 13 that you will do the right thing when faced with your own difficult choices in the future. But I know that IT’S NOT EASY to choose not to laugh at the boss’s inappropriate remarks when you know what he expects and a promotion hangs in the balance. I know that IT’S NOT EASY to tell your coworkers that rating the looks of the women at the office after a meeting isn’t acceptable, knowing that you may lose friends. I know that IT’S NOT EASY to remember that really big mistakes start with really small decisions – decisions to do things or say things or accept things or overlook things that become the bricks that pave a path toward your own disaster.

As a teacher, I have seen one truth about people proven over and over again: our human nature is to raise ourselves or lower ourselves to the expectations of those around us. I have seen students at a high risk of dropping out or going to jail achieve incredible personal and academic success because of the challenging expectations, consistent support, and high level of accountability provided by other people. And I have seen students who had every reason to be successful fail miserably in school or in life because of the low expectations, weak support, and lack of accountability offered by the people they pulled closest to them. I want you, my sons, to help set a high bar for the people around you. But I want our culture to start setting a higher bar for YOU. Because even though I believe that you are personally responsible for making the choices that you know are right in your life, it will be a heck of a lot easier to do the right thing when the climate in your workplace and your circle of friends demand it.

As a woman, I believe that this is a critical and exciting moment for women and girls in America. As a mom of boys, I recognize that the changes that should and hopefully will come from the recent revelations will help you, the sons I love so very much, to live a better life, as well. The news has been dark and troubling, but there are so many lessons you can learn from the mistakes of other people, boys. Just this week, we’ve discussed that the right thing to do is always the right thing to do. That peer pressure to behave a certain way or to be quiet will still exist when you grow up. That power is intoxicating and can make really smart people behave in really stupid ways. That “what happens in Vegas” or Sochi or wherever doesn’t actually stay there forever. That it is important to have friends whom you can trust, friends who are brutally honest, friends who knew you before you accomplished anything at all. That people make mistakes and that mistakes can be forgiven but that you can never move past mistakes that you don’t own. That if you have created a reputation of behaving inappropriately and someone does falsely accuse you, you are going to have a very, very hard time defending your name. And that it is always wise to imagine your decisions as newspaper headlines first – because the reality is that they could be.

Most importantly, we have been reminded that how we treat one another matters. Please treat other people kindly, boys. All of the people around you, the men and the women.

You will be rewarded for it, even if it means that you can’t be in The Club.

Love you always,

Mom